Sunday, June 7, 2009

101 Things about Disneyland NOBODY, I Repeat, NOBODY Knows



You might know some of these things... no, trust me, you don't.



General

  1. All of Disneyland is constructed at 4/8 scale.
  2. Former president of Disneyland Resort Cynthia Harris introduced several new concepts to the park, including negative attraction growth and "the maintenance-free decade."
  3. Disneyland employs five people who work full time theming trash cans.
  4. When an audioanimatronic figure dies, it is given an audioanimatronic funeral.
  5. Walt Disney didn't want movie and TV tie-ins to dominate the park, so he banned them, with the exception of the 20,000 Leagues walkthrough, the Matterhorn, the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, appearances by the Mouseketeers and Daniel Boon, all of Fantasyland, souvenirs, costumed characters, and a few other items.
  6. The "turkey legs" sold throughout the part are harvested from gigantic, genetically engineered caterpillars.
  7. Several of the park's trees are enormous bonsai.
  8. If you were to take all of the Disney dollars minted in a given year, stack them in groups of 100 bills, and throw the stacks one at a time into a furnace, they would lose most of their value.
  9. The value of the cash in all of the wallets and purses lost in Disneyland every day averages about $10,000.
  10. The value of the cash in all of the wallets and purses returned to Disneyland lost and found every day averages about $34.25.
  11. A frequently unenforced City of Anaheim law requires Disneyland guests to pass a written exam before buying a theme-park ticket.
  12. A Disneyland premium annual pass costs more than the monthly food bill of some third-world villages.
  13. Anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass.
  14. Captain Nemo's organ from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was broken up for spare parts to build the Main Street fire engine.
  15. Guests can be ejected from the park for infractions as minor as asking to see Captain Nemo's organ.
  16. There is no place in Disneyland to buy gum, tobacco, or firearms.
  17. More photographs are taken at Disneyland each year than are taken at every other Disney park in California combined.
  18. Disneyland fireworks are all hand made by Amish children.
  19. In Disneyland parlance, ATM stands for "a talking mouse."
  20. Pin trading is the third largest economic force in the country.
  21. Cast members who hear parents telling their children that Disneyland characters are just people in suits are required to immediately phone the child-abuse hotline.
  22. "Fantasmic!" was originally going to be named "Fantasmic?"

Main Street

  1. Main Street, U.S.A. is modeled after a turn-of-the-20th-century small town, but Walt Disney had originally conceived it as a turn-of-the-16th-century village.
  2. Disneyland's City Hall is modeled after a real government building, but with actual, coherent, human employees.
  3. The gas lamps along Main Street are a subtle reference to one Imagineer's favorite poet, Sylvia Plath.
  4. Each plain glass window on Main Street is a "moment in silence" tribute to someone who gave their life during the park's construction.
  5. In the Main Street first-aid center, the first limb ever broken in the park is on display.
  6. The Main Street Cinema has to keep showing the same films because it has no budget for new ones.
  7. The Emporium is named for ancient Rome's Emperor Emporium.
  8. If you listen to the old-fashioned telephones in the Market House for long enough, you may hear one of the party-line participants comment that "Knotts Berry Farm bites."
  9. Ironically, a fire always burns in the window above the Main Street Fire Department.
  10. "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" was inspired by Thomas Jefferson.
  11. The wooden Indian on Main Street cries when people litter.
  12. The Disneyland Railroad is one of only two daily-operating railroads in the United States from which dinosaurs can be seen.
  13. The portion of the Grand Canyon Diorama between the backdrop and the canyon wall was imported from the real Grand Canyon.
  14. The Primeval World Diorama was originally created using real dinosaurs.
  15. The Mickey Mouse depicted in the "Partners" statue in the park's hub is not really Mickey Mouse, but a costumed little person.

Toontown

  1. The inflatables in Goofy's Bounce House are filled with hydrogen.
  2. On the second floor of Mickey's house can be found his waterbed and hot tub.
  3. The Toontown mail box talks, has horrible breath, and is usually hung over.

Adventureland

  1. Adventureland was originally going to be called True Life Adventureland and feature attractions built around real events in Walt Disney's life.
  2. Tarzan's Treehouse is a rethemed version of Condorman's Treehouse.
  3. The Jungle Cruise boats originally had striped canopies to remind guests of the circus.
  4. One of the giraffes in the Jungle Cruise has lived on the property since it was an orange grove.
  5. During the period when Jungle Cruise skippers were not allowed to use guns, they would chase away rampaging hippos by throwing rocks, fruit, or small guests.
  6. Water doesn't really have a back side.
  7. One of the Tikis in the Tiki Room was donated by the Brady bunch after their vacation in Hawaii.
  8. Many of the Tiki Room birds appeared in Hitchcock's The Birds.
  9. A crate visible in the Indiana Jones queue has the number "9906753" on it. If you add up the digits, you get 39 -- Walt Disney's age just before his 40th birthday.

Now Orleans Square

  1. New Orleans Square is named for the town of Orleans in France.
  2. New Orleans "Square" is really an irregular hexagon.
  3. There was a one One-of-a-Kind Shop in New Orleans Square, and another in Fantasyland.
  4. When the Haunted Mansion first opened, a woman with a heart condition went on and the ride scared her so much that she started a baseless rumor about it.
  5. Due to budget cuts, the Haunted Mansion now only contains 888 happy haunts.
  6. In a 2004 poll, 47% of Disneyland guests and employees agreed that Michael Eisner's cremated remains should be scattered in the Haunted Mansion as soon as possible.
  7. All of the gold coins in Pirates of the Caribbean are real, but they are more than 100 years past their minting date and therefore have expired.
  8. A recording of a telegraph can be heard from the New Orleans Square Train Station saying, "Help, I'm stuck in the New Orleans Square Train Station."

Critter Country

  1. Guests in bathing attire can ride Splash Mountain in inner tubes.
  2. All of the songs in the Country Bear Jamboree were written specifically for Disneyland, and many continue to be popular to this day.
  3. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is endorsed by the Church of Satan.

Frontierland

  1. At the Frontierland Shootin' Exposition, real ammunition can be had for an extra $5.
  2. The Rainbow Caverns Mine Train would, but for a poor conjugation of a verb, have been the Rainbow Caverns My Train.
  3. The steam engine visible behind Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is the one that killed John Henry.
  4. On April Fool's Day, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is run backwards.
  5. Disneyland's original Indian Village was financed completely by slot machines and blackjack.
  6. All of the water in the Rivers of America is imported from the Mississippi River.
  7. The petrified sequoia along the banks of the Rivers of America is intended to give some perspective to visitors who feel like they've aged a hundred years while waiting in line.
  8. Disneyland's drydock is named Fowler's Harbor, in honor of what the ducks do to the Rivers of America.
  9. Tom Sawyer Island was originally supposed to be Tom Swift Island.
  10. The Sailing Ship Columbia is a 1/10 scale replica of the first ship to sail around the world without falling off.
  11. Careful observers may notice that the Mark Twain Riverboat is white, except for the parts that are black or red.
  12. Davey Crockett's Explorer Canoes are designed so that they cannot sink unless filled with water or tipped over.
  13. The original Golden Horseshoe Review show holds world records for both the oldest showgirls and the most retellings of a joke without ever getting a laugh.

Tomorrowland

  1. Everything in Tomorrowland is edible.
  2. The Rocket Rods were closed after a lawsuit from he-man porn star Rocket Rodd.
  3. The Monsanto House of the Future was made entirely of asbestos and lead.
  4. Carousel of Progress, a tribute to electricity, was powered by gas.
  5. The name of Innoventions' host Tom Morrow is a tribute to newsman Ed Murrow.
  6. If you look carefully during the opening sequence of Star Tours, you can catch a glimpse of Walt Disney frozen in carbonite.
  7. In an emergency, Monorail seats double as flotation devices.
  8. The Midget Autopia was closed because fewer midgets visited the park than expected.
  9. The Submarine Lagoon once boasted live mermaids and merbutlers.
  10. Mission to Mars was an updated version of Mission to the Moon, which itself was an update of Mission to Orbit, which replaced the Don Knotts Reluctant Astronaut Wacky Reentry Simulator.
  11. Space Mountain isn't really in outer space -- it's in a building.

Fantasyland

  1. Sleeping Beauty Castle is designed and stocked to withstand a siege by a full platoon for up to six months.
  2. At one time, guests could enter Sleeping Beauty Castle and walk up stairs to see dioramas of Sleeping Beauty in the Grand Canyon fighting dinosaurs.
  3. Because the ship-shaped vehicles of Peter Pan's Flight are actually seaworthy, the ride operator must have a ship pilot's license.
  4. If you touch the metal apple outside the Snow White's Scary Adventures attraction you will die.
  5. When scale is considered, the Casey Jr. Circus Train is the fastest ride in Disneyland.
  6. The Skyway attraction was only way to get to the Skyway Restaurant within the Matterhorn.
  7. The letters in "Storybook Land Canal Boats" can be rearranged to spell "Lorrybook Stand Banal Coats." See also "Tad Pea Marty" and "Flumbo the Dying Elephant."
  8. Dumbo the Flying Elephant's ears are being remodeled with earring holes that double as cup holders.
  9. During the cold war, the Soviet Union boycotted "it's a small world."
  10. The United States government considers the "it's a small world" song to be type-3 hazardous waste.
  11. Models for topiary sculptures may have to stay in the same position for months.
  12. Enormous nuclear-powered refrigeration units are needed to keep the Matterhorn's snow from melting.
  13. The Matterhorn is a real mountain that Walt Disney purchased and dismantled.
  14. The Matterhorn's abominable snowman is named Herschel.

Misc.

  1. J. Edgar Hoover once auditioned for a part as a Disneyland walk-around character (Snow White).
  2. Tinker Bell is neither a tinker nor a bell.
  3. There are only 100 things nobody knows about Disneyland.
Hope you liked the last one! It's my favorite! ; )

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes

These are hilarious Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette says, "My baby's going to be a boy." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The brunette says, "Because when we did it, my husband was on top."

The red head then says, "My baby's going to be a girl." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The red head says, "Because when we did it, I was on top."

The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, "My baby's going to be a puppy."




Next Joke:



Q. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

A. Because it kept falling out




Next Joke:

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions!

Q : How do you really confuse a blonde?
A : Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn!!



Next Joke:



A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH the firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.

"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!"

"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."



Next Joke:



There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.

The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!"

So she swam back.



Next Joke:



Q: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the same kindergarden class, which one has the biggest boobs?

A: It's the blonde..... because she's 18.



Next Joke:



A blonde, a brunette and a red head all go into the casino....

The redhead and the brunette go off dinking and gambling. After a long time they meet back up and look for their blonde friend.

They find her right where they left her at the coke machine where she was buying yet another coke. She already had at least 50 at her feet on the floor.

The brunette and redhead asked, 
"What are you doing girl?"

The blonde replied,"Duh!!!! I'm winning!!!"



Next Joke:



There was a smart blonde, a dumb blonde and Santa Clause...

They where gonna jump off a building to see who would land on the ground first...

So they all jumped at the same time, Who do you think hit the ground first?

The dumb blonde- Because there is no such thing as a smart blonde or Santa!!!

 


Next Joke:




Three blondes told their friends that they saw Santa Claus.

Then their friends said, "How did you know it was Santa Claus?"

The three blondes said they knew it was Santa Claus, because he was yelling "HO HO HO" at them!



Next Joke:



One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into a farm.

The farmer said to his wife,
"I think I hear something outside." 

The girls heard the door open,and
they all ran in different directions.

The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch.

The farmer went to the cow pen and said,"Is there anyone there?" 
The brunette said,"Mmmmmmmoooooo."

Then he went over to the pig pen and the farmer said, "Is there anyone there?" and the redhead said, "Oink oink."

Then he went over to the potato patch and said, "Is there anyone 
there?" and the blonde said, "Potatooooo."

 


Next Joke:




A guy goes online looking for brains. 

He sees a red head brain for 2,000,a brunett for 1,000,and a blonde brain for 6,000. 

The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend says, "Because it's never been used."




Next Joke:




Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland, when one of the blondes read the sign, "Disneyland left".

So they went home...




Next Joke:




A blonde and her boyfriend were making out in the front seat, at the drive-in theater. 

Her boyfriend says "Hey baby, ya wanna get in the back?"

She said "No I wanna stay up here with you!"

 


Next Joke:




Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?

A: Because she thought her maxi pad had wings.




Next Joke:




Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once




Next Joke:




Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.

 


Next Joke:



Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?

A: Shine a torch in her ears.

 


Next Joke:




Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?

A: Humpme Dumpme.




Next Joke:





Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the disabled zone.

 



Next Joke:



Three girls were on the run from the cops - a red head, a brunette, and ablonde. During the subsequent high speed chase the red head spotted apotato farm and suggested that the girls should hide out there.

Once at the farm all three girls girls climbed into a potato sack. The cops came to the potato farm, looked around, but saw no sign of the girls. The sheriff started kicking potato sacks to see if maybe they were hiding.

The sheriff kicked the bag with the red head in it and she yelped “Bark Bark” so they thought it was a dog. He kicked another sack, this one with the brunette in it, and she said “Meow Meow” so they thought it was a cat. Finally, just as the sheriff was about to give up – he kicked one last bag, with theblonde inside, and heard “POTATO!”



Next Joke:



Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. 

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. 

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. 

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. 

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."



Next Joke:



A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. 

Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." 

So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. 

Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. 

Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit" 



There are three moms. . 

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. 

They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" 

They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. 

Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis" 

Next Joke:

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. 
The doctor askes her what had happened. 
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. 
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." 
"The bastard called again"

Hope ya liked em!





 

 






Friday, June 5, 2009

16 Really Random Things

1.) Spinach consumption in the U.S. rose 33% after the Popeye comic strip became a hit in 1931.
2.) President George W. Bush was once a cheerleader!
3.) Car accidents rise 10% during the first week of daylight savings time.
4.) Each year, approximately 250,000 American husbands are physically attacked and beaten by their wives.
5.) Leonardo DiCaprio got his first ‘onscreen kiss’ from a man!
6.) The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet.
7.) About half of all Americans are on a diet on any given day.
8.) Farmers in England are required by law to provide their pigs with toys!
9.) The U.S. Army accidentally ordered an 82 year supply of freeze-dried tuna salad mix for troops in Europe.
10.) Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
11.) The U.S. army packs Tabasco pepper sauce in every ration kit that they give to soldiers.
12.) More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines.
13.) In a year, the average person walks four miles to make his or her bed. (One more reason why you shouldn't make your bed.)
14.) In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
15.) In England, in the 1880's, 'Pants' was considered a dirty word.
16.) Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

100! Things the U.S.A. Just Found Out This Year

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