Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes

These are hilarious Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette says, "My baby's going to be a boy." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The brunette says, "Because when we did it, my husband was on top."

The red head then says, "My baby's going to be a girl." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The red head says, "Because when we did it, I was on top."

The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, "My baby's going to be a puppy."

Next Joke:

Q. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

A. Because it kept falling out

Next Joke:

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions!

Q : How do you really confuse a blonde?
A : Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn!!

Next Joke:

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH the firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.

"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!"

"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."

Next Joke:

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.

The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!"

So she swam back.

Next Joke:

Q: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the same kindergarden class, which one has the biggest boobs? A: It's the blonde..... because she's 18. Next Joke: A blonde, a brunette and a red head all go into the casino.... The redhead and the brunette go off dinking and gambling. After a long time they meet back up and look for their blonde friend. They find her right where they left her at the coke machine where she was buying yet another coke. She already had at least 50 at her feet on the floor. The brunette and redhead asked,  "What are you doing girl?" The blonde replied,"Duh!!!! I'm winning!!!" Next Joke: There was a smart blonde, a dumb blonde and Santa Clause... They where gonna jump off a building to see who would land on the ground first... So they all jumped at the same time, Who do you think hit the ground first? The dumb blonde- Because there is no such thing as a smart blonde or Santa!!!   Next Joke: Three blondes told their friends that they saw Santa Claus. Then their friends said, "How did you know it was Santa Claus?" The three blondes said they knew it was Santa Claus, because he was yelling "HO HO HO" at them! Next Joke: One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into a farm. The farmer said to his wife, "I think I hear something outside."  The girls heard the door open,and they all ran in different directions. The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch. The farmer went to the cow pen and said,"Is there anyone there?"  The brunette said,"Mmmmmmmoooooo." Then he went over to the pig pen and the farmer said, "Is there anyone there?" and the redhead said, "Oink oink." Then he went over to the potato patch and said, "Is there anyone  there?" and the blonde said, "Potatooooo."   Next Joke: A guy goes online looking for brains.  He sees a red head brain for 2,000,a brunett for 1,000,and a blonde brain for 6,000.  The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend says, "Because it's never been used." Next Joke: Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland, when one of the blondes read the sign, "Disneyland left". So they went home... Next Joke: A blonde and her boyfriend were making out in the front seat, at the drive-in theater.  Her boyfriend says "Hey baby, ya wanna get in the back?" She said "No I wanna stay up here with you!"   Next Joke: Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff? A: Because she thought her maxi pad had wings. Next Joke: Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once Next Joke: Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.   Next Joke: Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears.   Next Joke: Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme. Next Joke: Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the disabled zone.   Next Joke: Three girls were on the run from the cops - a red head, a brunette, and ablonde. During the subsequent high speed chase the red head spotted apotato farm and suggested that the girls should hide out there. Once at the farm all three girls girls climbed into a potato sack. The cops came to the potato farm, looked around, but saw no sign of the girls. The sheriff started kicking potato sacks to see if maybe they were hiding. The sheriff kicked the bag with the red head in it and she yelped “Bark Bark” so they thought it was a dog. He kicked another sack, this one with the brunette in it, and she said “Meow Meow” so they thought it was a cat. Finally, just as the sheriff was about to give up – he kicked one last bag, with theblonde inside, and heard “POTATO!” Next Joke: Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.  The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.  They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.  The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.  Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.  The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in." Next Joke: A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.  Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."  So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.  Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.  Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"  There are three moms. .  A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.  They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed"  They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.  Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"  Next Joke: One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.  The doctor askes her what had happened.  She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone.  "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other."  "The bastard called again" Hope ya liked em!